Less talk, lots of pictures

Ever feel like you really want to do something, are supposed to like it (painting in my case) but just don’t seem to be able to do it. Most of last week went by and I found myself baking everyday but not painting at all. On the fringes of my mind I knew that I was avoiding because I was afraid of making a mess of it. Anyhow I kept going with the baking, messed up the consistency of one of the cakes which got me thinking about the importance of consistency, especially for painting to keep the flow going.

Caramel Cake with Chocolate ganache

A bit of a spill 

 Linzer cookies with raspberry rose jam

By Friday was tired of avoiding and decided to just have some fun with it.  Felt so good and free that I was wondering what took me so long to get to it in the first place :P

Trusted old watercolor set

Loads of texture

Some good fun :)

Florence + The Machine - Shake It Out

Nasty Monkey

This is my third attempt at writing this post. The two times before this they got deleted by accident Gaahhhh! To cry or laugh? This time I think I choose laugh (and am typing on word and saving the file).

 Last time though I got so frustrated and before I knew what was happening I was spinning around like a bad mood twister turning everything around me into various shades of grey. Walking around like a self-righteous zombie lacking any motivation whatsoever, the only sane option: nap. Waiting for something to happen to snap me out of it, here is a list of what doesn’t work:

Waiting for something to happen

Fighting it

Ignoring it

Logically solving the issue

And what I have learnt from my trial and errors with previous bad moods is that all it takes to snap out of it is a shift in perspective. Sometimes physical (nature, open space etc.) but mostly mental, it requires lightning up and not taking everything so personally. Creating space for myself to see that ‘I’ am not defined by my ‘issues’. ‘I’ am much, much more and my potential is infinite J. The moment when I am able to see this is when I feel so truly awake.

'Waking up 1'

A bad mood or ‘The Black Monkey” (Megha!) as we call it is so very addictive that the effort required for perspective shift feels as difficult as dunking oneself in a cold pond or getting out of a warm and comfy bed early to go running :S. Needs to be done though. Hopefully gets easier with practice.

Travel time is when things seem miraculously clear to me. I absolutely love lone airplane travel. The reasons for my love are so numerous that im grinning madly just thinking about it. Okay heres a short list: view from window (at any time of day), airplane food, inflight entertainment, legal naps at any time, catching up on reading, looking out window, listening to dreamy music and choreographing imaginary music video etc. So a few days back when flying out to Mumbai from Chennai, I was all geared up for a happy 2 hours of flight time. I was not disappointed. 

Calorie laden breakfast (check)

Good music courtesy Florence+ The Machine (check)

Reading epic book, A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle (check)

Sky doing some crazy cool things (check)

Enthusiastically wrote a cheesy poem about sky (check)

It went something like this :)...

Stretched, swirling in slow motion

Puffs, popcorn machines couldn't contain themselves,

Spilled over to fill oceans and build cities of dreams.

Blankets, tapestries of life stories stuffed full of light;

Will I bounce? My pockets are empty,

I yearn to launch into the blue...

Now while all this enjoyment onboard might easily be mistaken as escapism, I say its all about aerial perspective :D. Let me explain, travel time I find allows me to become silent enough to detach from my problems and gain new perspective on what really is important. Those "Aha!" moments where the bigger picture suddenly becomes clear.

No words needed!

'Crescendo', the music eternal, dancing from deepest core, shaking off all constraints; no words needed.  Letting myself truly feel! 

What are feelings exactly? Sensations in the body perhaps that have been titled as anger, frustration, joy, calm etc. and perceived to be either positive or negative. Can I free my feelings from labels? Just moving with the feeling, flowing in tune with myself, can I develop a language beyond words and explanations? Free of fear and judgement can I muster up the courage to be honest and real? To be accepting and open with myself?

Working spontaneously in this way has been humbling and beautiful. I feel happy, finally satisfied that my art is truthful to who I am. It has been so difficult to let go of asking the questions, "So what does it mean?" or "What if nobody gets it?", realizing that those things dont matter at all.

So right now just take a deep breath and let go. Let the pictures immerse you, to move you to where your heart wants to go :)

'Feeling golden'

Back with a splash and sputter

This post is coming after very long as you can see, most of the time being spent finding excuses not to post. Well I've just been blocked as far as painting is concerned I guess, not due to a lack of ideas but rather an overflow fighting for expression and overwhelming me in the process. Anyway I am glad to say that problem seems to be sufficiently cleared. In-fact I would risk being highly optimistic enough to say that being blocked in the art department is surely enough an opportunity for emotional spring cleaning of sorts. Once I managed to say  my screw- you's to the ugly yip-yips of fear and criticism, I have been throughly enjoying exploring the rich, lyrical, dramatic unfurling of my expressions through movement, color and form.

This painting from a couple of days ago is called 'Rain Already!'. Created in one sitting it is a spontaneous, dynamic and energetic purge of my feelings of teeth-gritting frustration at the seemingly never ending summer which had suspended my world in trapped inertia ( symbolically speaking of course ;P).

After the previous painting I was left feeling buoyant! So yesterday, on a whim I decided to decorate my altar space with a watercolor wall mural of my cat Lucy gazing out dreamily at the whole universe of possibility :D. Which brings me to a topic of great interest for me; existing in innumerable parallel realities simultaneously. I find my self excited by the possibilities and ever so inclined to believe. What are your thoughts?

Small Miracles

There is nothing quite like newness :). A new idea, a vision, the excitement of wonders to come. I love how an idea can stem from just an undercurrent of a scent carried by the breeze, mix with a dream and the pure joy of sitting in a patch of morning sunlight. A new idea fills me with energy and passion. Life is suddenly brighter and everything seems to fit in perfectly like pieces of a puzzle.

I saw this tiny little flower growing along with a carpet of weedy growths. So unexpected and beautiful. Simple and fresh. It is the present. I was shaken and humbled . It Inspired me to be new and open every moment.A small miracle happens every time inspiration strikes, its time to awaken.

This flower reminded me of an unnamed painting I made a while back. Here is a portion of it.

Feels like "Dreaming under the night sky".

Imagine seeing the sky full of stars for the first time, like a child would. Imagine feeling the magic in the air, the mystery and the beauty. How would it feel to let go of everything and just be there, connected.

Artist/ Mentor Cat

Lucy in the sky with diamonds.Wonderfully wise and mischievous. Favorite art medium : Chalk Pastels.

Favorite color: Sky blue. Watches over me when I paint, centering and inspiring me to be real and childlike.